MULBERRY, Ohio — Pulling her minivan into the driveway of the local shopping center last Tuesday night, Janet Taylor, 42, noted with a moderate level of surprise that the windows in Target were dark, and concluded that the store had already closed despite the clock on her dashboard clearly indicating 11:22 PM in its red LED lighting. 

“I never shop this late because I know Target usually closes at 11,” noted the Mulberry resident.

“But I think I remember one of my friends — it must have been Cathy or Amy — telling me that the store would be pushing its closing time to midnight during the holiday season,” she added, tapping the steering wheel softly with a hint of exasperation.

Taylor noted that Cathy had disseminated her share of conspiracy theories, but that it was a bit odd that she’d be spreading false information about what time a store closed. Amy, while less personable than Cathy, had a sterling reputation for integrity.

“I guess it could have been my mistake,” Taylor mused wryly, as she eased some tension by flashing her car’s headlights on and off about a half-dozen times.

According to sources who requested anonymity, Taylor embarked on the late-night excursion with the dual purpose of restocking her kitchen pantry with Cape Cod kettle-cooked potato chips and purchasing tube socks for her bratty son, Dylan, 6. The 5’5″, roughly-165-pound mother of four traversed the 1.2-mile journey in her 2014 Toyota Sienna with little incident until the fateful moment when she realized that the store was already closed for the evening, despite being a full 38 minutes shy of midnight. At that point, she eased into a parking spot, pulled some gum out of her purse and began chewing.

“From a block away, I noticed that the parking lot was pretty empty, but it still didn’t totally dawn on me that Target had closed until I saw the outdoor lights reflecting in the black of the store windows,” added Taylor, a stay-at-home-mom, who works as a taxi dispatcher two Sundays a month. “I was kind of surprised, but I can come back tomorrow night, or really even tomorrow morning.”

Eyewitnesses were unable to determine the gum Taylor was chewing, although one passerby stated that it “could have been Trident, but maybe not.”

At press time, Taylor was mulling sending a text message to several group chats to alert others about Target not extending its closing time past 11 PM.