I’ve been to West Virginia
And I’ve been to Timbuktu
I took the wrong connecting 
Flight and landed in Peru

I sailed the seven oceans
Tried to grind raw coffee beans
But all that’s superseded  
By the sight I saw in Queens

My brother called one morning
And he said “I’m glad you’re home 
I want to see a ballgame, 
But I thought you were in Rome

I heard that there’s a pitcher 
Who is something to behold
I said to him “Let’s go right 
Now,” cuz that’s just how I rolled

I knew where I was going
And we got there pretty quick
(I almost tried to drag race
But the roads were kind of slick)

The ballpark smelled of hot dogs,
with a dash of sauerkraut,
We rushed straight to our seats, ‘cuz
The first pitch had been thrown out 

The fellow standing on the
Mound was quite a strapping bloke
The tallest man I’ve ever 
Seen, and sturdy as an oak

But more than height and heaters
Was the pitcher’s golden hair
I couldn’t help myself, and
So I settled in to stare

It wasn’t just the shimmer
And it wasn’t just the sheen
I’m no expert on follicles
But them’s the best I’ve seen

The hair, oh it cascaded
And it rippled near his face
When my eyes looked away, there
Was a man on second base

My concentration didn’t 
Stray, no, it gazed at that mane
Through six and seven innings
‘Til some clouds gave way to rain

The players all got drenched, and
So they ran for cover fast
My brain began to roll, and
Quickly I became aghast

I wasn’t scared for safety,
(I once flew through a monsoon)
But hair can’t stand a downpour
All that glory’d go to ruin! 

The dreamy mane would lose its
Oomph; the hair would now be lame
Today would clearly be a loss —
And I don’t mean the game

Eventually, the flood stopped
And the grounds crew dried the field
I settled back to my seat
With my grimace half-concealed

The players fin’lly came out
To a man, they all looked gross
But Noah’s hair was splendid — 
If not perfect, pretty close

Son, I can tell you right now
What I didn’t know that day
It turns out that I erred a 
Bit, hard as that is to say

Ol’ Noah’s hair is special
It’s a magic-laden mane
And it can withstand ruin
Even when exposed to rain

So, wouldn’t you just know it
My depression was for naught
Apparently that hair’s real
And its shimmer can’t be bought